Brisbane public transport FAIL!

Getting my license can't come soon enough! I'm so incredibly frustrated with the inefficiency and shocked by the recklessness of Brisbane's public transport service!

Within just the last five days:

- I've had a bus driver reluctantly let me on at a stop, and then tell me that, "This bus is no longer meant to stop here"... Well how about either updating the bus stop/timetables or getting your facts straight! This same driver then proceeded to take the wrong route! People were having to give the driver directions on where to go! Clearly this driver thought he was driving a different bus. But the bus has zoomed past on several other occasions, so it very well *might* not meant to stop there. But the sign hasn't been updated.

- The Roma Street train station has about 6 or 8 gates for people to enter and exit the station through… Do you know how many gates they had working yesterday? One! Big queue of people were waiting on one side to get out, and another big queue on the other side to get in! Through one gate!

- And their train times keep changing, as well as the platforms! No longer can you rely on the Beenleigh train to come at 8:30 on Platform 4. Today, it might come at 9 on Platform 8, and at 9:10 on Platform 2 tomorrow!


- I saw a guy in a suit literally jump into a moving bus the other day! The door was open while the bus was moving, so this guy took a run up and leapt in from the side of the road! 





- A friend of mine yesterday was almost run over by a bus because the driver wasn't stopping at red lights! Probably because he was so busy speeding past all the stops and not letting people on! 
"Bus L5901 just ran a red light at Creek/Adelaide St while pedestrians were crossing. Then blocked them from crossing Adelaide St. Then nudged forward as people walked in front of him when the pedestrian crossing he was blocking went green. So, yeah. I was just hit by a bus (not badly)".



- And today, I wanted to get off the bus via the back door, so I swiped my card ready to go. And he didn't open the back door! So I had to come running to the front, saying, "Excuse me! Excuse me!" as he started driving on! He had to open the front door again to let me out! He'd already let people on, but wasn't letting anyone out! Why do buses have a sign saying, "Please exit via rear door" if they're not going to open the rear door to let people out?

- And then later, the "Out of Service. No Host" sign was on the rear Go Card machines, so nobody could swipe their cards at the back. People had to exit via the front.

Brisbane public transport has been terrible for years, but I never thought it was possible for it to get any worse! Reckless driving, broken doors, broken gates, broken Go Card machines, mixed up schedules, platform changes, confused drivers who don't know where to go! All within 5 days!

Unbelievable!

Not to mention the fact that the buses and trains are so few and far between that they're always PACKED beyond capacity! And the air conditioning rarely works. And we're right in the middle of a very hot Summer. And we don't have the same kind of train tracks as Sydney does, so we can't have trains with three levels of seating like they have.  We have these single-level, over packed, hotbox sardine cans plodding along rusty tracks at snails pace! And on our roads, we have outdated, over packed sardine cans on wheels zooming through red lights and not stopping to let people on or off! And when they do stop, the Go cards don't work! Or the doors! And it doesn't take much for them to break down!


Ok ok... Rant coming to an end... Soon enough I hope to be adding to the pollution by driving around in a car where I want, when I want, in air conditioning, while sitting in a seat (not having to stand up). Because quite frankly, "Take it easy, take a train" and "Leave the car at home and take a bus" are not the kinds of slogans that work here in Brisbane. 

Brisbane Music Scene: From Punter To Performer, Part 4: Experimentation and Ambience

 In addition to weekly rehearsals and gigs with Headkase, I was also a part of an experimental, improvised noise art project called "Silent Partners" from 2002 until 2008. There was no official end to the project. It's just that nothing has really happened with it recently. 

It was another very theatrical act with masks, facepaint, and costumes. We didn't rehearse. We just showed up and played. No two shows were the same. And they were hit and miss. On bad nights, people would either walk out, or just stare blankly at us, wondering what was going on. On good nights (thankfully there were more of these), people would smile, dance and come up to us afterwards and ask us what the name of the third song was we played. We didn't have an answer because it was just a live improvised jam, made up on the spot.

There were three main members of Silent Partners: Jesse Breckon, the mastermind of the outfit, on vocals, theremin, and various other electronic gadgets and effects units. Markus on bass, and myself on keys. Various other members joined us at gigs and on recordings. Sometimes the band would consist of up to 14 people at a time. Members from bands such as The Follow, The Red Paintings, Suspect Seven,  Felinedown, The Wretched Villains, and Headkase. Brass, strings, lots of percussion and vocal effects too... as demonstrated in this sample. Note the many different genres featured. There were no limits:

Silent Partners Sample by RealBrettHansen

And from 2003-2007, I was part of an ambient band called "Marlinchen". A couple of lineup changes to begin with, but we ended up with something pretty magical. It was quite a mournful sound we produced, but pretty as well. 
 
At our gigs, people would sit on the floor and close their eyes while they listened. A far cry from the crazy moshpits I was used to at Headkase shows. We had violin, operatic vocals, guitar, keys, glockenspiel and bass played with a cello bow. 

The following is an article about us in Time Off - 8 March, 2006:

MARLINCHEN

Marlinchen are that special something that makes you thank God such a thing as music exists; evoking everything from the mythical worlds of fairy tales and children’s rhymes to the more adult Tubular Bells and artists such as Faith & Disease and Lisa Gerrard.

Skye (Violin). Photo by Ricky Sullivan.

Named after a character from the Brothers Grimm tale The Juniper Tree, guitarist Maxwell Blair says the Brisbane quintet strive to recapture that childhood innocence. “Marlinchen, or ‘Little Marlene’, is a German term of endearment,” he says. “Childlike virtue, wisdom and wonder inspire me.”

Evoking more atmosphere than many composers do with large budgets, their demo Drawing A Cat With the Aid of Two Coins will certainly conjure up childhood images you thought you’d forgotten: real or imagined. So how does one go about creating such an impression?

Max (Guitar). Photo by Ricky Sullivan.

“The music writing process will start with Max’s or my chords,” keys player Brett Hansen says. “I like to think of a mood, and then the creation just flows. After we have run through a new song, we often discuss what it evokes for each of us. All sorts of films come to mind.”

Since the group’s inception, the line-up has expanded gradually to that which you see today.
 

“Each addition to the band has taken the music in a slightly different, but advanced, direction. It was certainly not imagined this way when Max and I first started making music but it pleases me,” bassist Glen Miller says.

Glen (Bass). Photo by Ricky Sullivan.

“Everyone is open enough to let it change, which is important,” vocalist Jasmine Hulme adds.

So what can you expect from their live show?

“Shivers-inducing violin; Skye [McNicol] is such an amazing performer,” Blair says. “And the cinematic implications of our music allow listeners to wander throughout their imaginations; our music invites people to visualise a scene from a film, whether imagined or real.”

Jasmine (Vocals). Photo by Ricky Sullivan.

Marlinchen turn Ric’s into an enchanted forest (or whatever you imagine) Wednesday Mar 15.

Marlinchen Sample by RealBrettHansen

Marlinchen played our final show at the Troubadour in the Valley in March 2007. 

Members now live in faraway places like France, Japan and other parts of Australia. Some have pursued other interests, while others continue to perform music in other groups. 

In my next blog post, I'll continue talk about Headkase's journey, the release of our full length album, and the reception it received both in Australia and overseas. 

And coming soon: I'll talk about the ska/swing band I joined in 2010 called "Rad Rockets Are GO!"

 To be continued...

Part 5 (Final) - http://geekazoidopinion.blogspot.com/2011_10_01_archive.html 

Brisbane Music Scene: From Punter To Performer, Part 3: Haters Be Hatin'...

Headkase had reached a point where we were attracting record crowd numbers at Her Majesty's Bar (The Basement), and being invited to open for some of the major touring acts in bigger venues. Doing something different and refreshing was starting to pay off. 

Front page of "QLD Times" Entertainment liftout

But as with world famous artists and performers who make a positive impact and attract a big following, there are always going to be critics. You can't please everybody. And sometimes the critics go to extremes, and do whatever they can to publicly drag these figures' names through the mud in order to turn people against them.

An "Anti-Headkase Neo-Nazi group" sounds a bit dramatic. That's what we thought when we learned that it wasn't just one or two grumpy members of our audience who weren't too impressed with what they saw and heard one time. 

It began with abusive posts on the Headkase message forum about how we're sloppy and lame, we're not heavy enough, we're all "gay" because we try (and fail) to splice metal with other genres. We can take criticism. Sure, it's not constructive criticism, but bands get this sort of thing all the time. Eventually these sorts of posts started appearing more frequently, in several public message forums like the Time Off Message Board, and the guest books of record labels and popular bands at the time. And then the hate emails started filling up our inbox. 

Pretty soon, they decided to take it to the streets. Posters were being plastered around the streets, music stores and venues of Brisbane trying to convince the town to boycott Headkase and it's homosexual members. None of us are gay, but our music and image somehow made them believe we were. Websites were built as well, doctored photos and even drawings were being uploaded, and every online music forum and guestbook was filled with anti-Headkase propaganda, and spam from people posing as members of the band, unprofessionally bragging about how superior we are to all the other bands in Brisbane. Rumours were being spread, our name was being brutally dragged through the mud, and people were actually believing what they were reading. Bridges were being burned, as they insulted and badmouthed every band we'd become friends with. And, frustratingly, people who'd never heard of Headkase were getting this false first impression, and believing every word of it. 

Before the advent of social networking websites like MySpace, Facebook and Twitter, and before the law and media started taking online bullying and defamation seriously, I gathered up printouts of all the abusive posts and emails (some threatening violence against us, with comments such as, "You'd better watch your backs at your next gig"), as well as posters I'd taken down, and brought them into the Police Station on Adelaide Street. It was shrugged off and taken lightly. "There's nothing we can do about it", one officer said. "It's a civil matter. Just get the personal details of the people involved, and take them to court". 

Getting the names and addresses of anonymous cyber bullies was not going to be easy. Nobody was able to trace where the emails and guestbook posts were coming from. None of the music forum owners were willing to cooperate, saying that everyone has a right to their opinion. They wouldn't even remove the offending posts for us. Meanwhile, the hateful replies underneath the posts were growing rapidly. Even people who admitted that they were once fans had been brainwashed and turned against us. 

One day, a friend/fan of the band came up to me at The Basement, and gave me a quiet tip-off. "Don't tell anyone I told you this, but I saw who put up one of those posters. I kinda know him, but he's a bit of a dick". I promised I wouldn't rat him out for telling me. "I don't know his last name, but he goes by the nicknames of 'John the Fascist', 'Facepaint John' and 'Gay John', and he is a strong believer in Neo-Nazism". Immediately, I asked, "Why do they call him 'Gay John' if he hates gay people, and 'Facepaint John' if he hates the fact that some of us in the band wear facepaint and masks on stage?". Turns out 'Gay John' was just a silly name mates called him, poking fun of his hatred of gay people. And 'Facepaint John' was due to the fact that he would wear white facepaint, similar to that of the racist, anti-christian members of the Norwegian black metal scene (pictured), responsible for many of the infamous Church burnings in the early 1990s. 

Headkase t-shirts

Gradually, I started piecing together all kinds of information about John the Fascist and some of his associates. Any information I received was given in secrecy, and in very small doses. There was a hint of fear from those who divulged any information. Some people simply said that while they respect what the band does, they're also friends with John and didn't want to betray their friend. I started hearing stories of people who were beaten for wearing Headkase t-shirts. And many of these stories were linked to other hate crimes against Asian people and gay people, specifically a lot of the bashings outside the Wickham Hotel in the Valley. But nobody was willing to give any more information. 

At one show, there was a group of about six goths in white facepaint who were chanting, "Nigger lovers!" at us while we played. There really didn't seem to be any basis behind these racist and homophobic statements being used against us, all because we dared to play music that was a bit different to what other metal bands were playing. The silliest part about the whole thing was the fact that these people were devoting so much of their time and money to this cause. The printing costs for posters and flyers, the time spent on hanging them up and handing them out, the time spent building websites and writing on countless message forums and guestbooks, and the entry fees spent on getting into our shows. Why would you pay money to see a band you hate so much?

 Thankfully, the threats of violence towards us never became any more than threats. However, I was appalled to think that acts of violence were being carried out towards our fans for wearing our t-shirts. Especially since the Police still refused to act without full names and address details. I had all the evidence, clues and leads for an investigation that they simply didn't want to be a part of. Venues like The Basement who took the matter seriously were putting on extra security at our shows, for the protection of the band and the fans. Both the front entry for the public, and the back entry for bands were being checked to make sure nobody was bringing in weapons. And roaming security guards were making sure nobody was organising any attacks, especially during our performance. Even enthusiastic fans in the mosh pit who lunged forward towards the stage were pushed back by security.

By 2007, the madness had died down. Any internet nonsense that was still going on was going unnoticed thanks to MySpace and the measures they had to keep riff raff like that away from band profiles. The band continued playing, and we'd gone through several waves of fans in that time. Many of the original regulars who packed out The Basement had long stopped attending shows. They'd hung up their leather pants, boots and spiky collars, gained full time employment, gotten married and had kids. But with every new wave of fans, we were still able to pull large crowd numbers. The "Overcranked" festival at the RNA Showgrounds was a highlight, and certainly reassured us that people were still willing to come out of the woodwork in large numbers to see us. MySpace helped to raise our profile nationally and even internationally as well, which worked in our favour when it came to touring and releasing an album.

In the next post, I'll talk about a couple of other bands I was in during this time - Silent Partners and Marlinchen. 

To be continued...

Part 4 - http://geekazoidopinion.blogspot.com/2011_08_01_archive.html

Brisbane Music Scene: From Punter To Performer, Part 2

In Part 1, I started by describing my band Headkase's 10 Year Anniversary show at the Hi-Fi Bar in January of this year, where we performed to 1,200 people. 

I talked about some of the local Brisbane bands I used to see when I first started attending gigs. They included Resin Dogs, George, Gota Cola, Tulipan, and others who had elements of hip hop, dance, folk and ambience. 

I showed you my first band, Boris, which was influenced by these sorts of bands.

I ended with these questions:

How did heavy metal get mixed up in all of this? How and why did Headkase form? And how were the large crowds achieved?

Boris didn't last long. The band consisted of fellow animation students, and a fine art student. We pretty much lasted until the end of the course. The other animation students went on to produce some well received underground comic books, as well as perform in other bands. The fine artist (vocalist) moved to Far North QLD to pick fruit.

Soon after, I read an ad in Time Off or Rave magazine about a percussion group that was forming. Being a fan of beats and rhythms, I joined. I played my Dad's bongo drums, and eventually bought a djembe too. It was basically a weekly drum circle, and was a lot of fun. About 20 or so people banging out rhythms together. We even did some performances in the Valley rotunda. A group of documentary film makers made a film about us too. 

Within this percussion group were various members of bands, including a few from a band called "Von Gherkin". One night, the whole percussion group went to The Zoo to see Von Gherkin play. They were actually opening for George on this particular night. 

US band Mr. Bungle

Von Gherkin were very much influenced by an American band called "Mr. Bungle". I had recently started listening to that band too. What fascinated me about Mr. Bungle was the fact that they would blend lots of different genres together. Predominantly, they played heavy metal (a genre that I felt was just a little bit uninteresting at the time), but mixed it with jazz, funk, techno, ska, circus/carnival music, pirate music, and music from the Middle East. Essentially, they made metal sound interesting to me. And clearly this view was shared by members of Von Gherkin. 


Listen to a sample of "Voices" by Von Gherkin:

Voices - Von Gherkin (Sample) by RealBrettHansen

Not long after the final performance of the percussion group, my brother Todd asked me if I'd like to bring my keyboard along to band practice with a group of metal musicians he'd been jamming with. At first, I wasn't too sure what I could bring to the table, because I was really just discovering metal at the time. But then I figured I could apply my own influences of jazz, techno and trip hop, as well as circus music, which I thought was a nice touch in the music of Mr. Bungle. That first jam was a hit. And everyone was very keen to take it in this direction, rather than just be a standard heavy metal band. 

Headkase at an early rehearsal (2001)

We started jamming regularly, and came up with some fun, catchy, quirky songs. Due to the crazy nature of the music, the members, and the various things that had hurt, changed and shaped us, we decided to call the band "Headcase". This was actually originally going to be the name of one of the songs.

Nutty (lead vocalist) entered us into the 2001 Queensland Rock Awards (previous entrants included Regurgitator, Powderfinger and The Butterfly Effect). Our first ever show was to be a qualifying heat at the Bracken Ridge Tavern in April 2001. This was a good incentive to rehearse a set for the night. 

On the night, Todd (drummer) decided to draw on his face with Nikko pen to look like an evil clown. We really only had about 15 minutes of material to drag out into the 30 minute set time. And we didn't have a bass player. But somehow, we managed to qualify to enter the contest, on the condition that we find a bass player. 

It didn't take long for Todd to bring in a friend he'd met at a party, guitarist Dylan, to play bass with us. A massive Mr. Bungle fan, Dylan was also keen on this wacky genre-blending metal band idea. 

We'd registered the band name in the Rock Awards, but later changed the spelling to "Headkase" with a 'k' due to our discovery of an active punk band in Sydney with the correctly spelled name. The QLD Rock Awards was like a TAFE course on how to be a professional musician. To fully impress the judges, we had to show how serious we were by officially registering the band name (Headkase) as a business, by setting up a website, and various other things like promotion and image.

Razel

In setting up the business side of the band, I turned to members of my favourite local bands for help: Tylea from Gota Cola, Tyrone Noonan from George, and various others. I also wrote to members and managers of bands like The Mark of Cain, The Bird and The Hive, and received some helpful hints. Local all-girl punk metal band "Razel" (pronounced Razelle - rhymes with gazelle) became good friends of mine during this time too. Their manager Tracy Kick was of the greatest help in all aspects of establishing the band. 

Headkase @ The Plough Inn (2001)

We worked our way up through all the heats (held at The Plough Inn at Southbank), becoming better and more confident, and managing to bring more and more of a rent-a-crowd each time. Todd was well and truly embracing his evil clown persona, wearing proper face paint and costumes to each gig. The movement and theatrics on stage, combined with the 'different' approach to music seemed to be working in our favour. 

Headkase with Razel (2001)

Through all of these Rock Awards heats and public jam nights at the Plough Inn, we were also able to hook up our first gigs in the 'real' scene. Tracy took a chance on us, and gave us a show with Razel at the Alley Bar (at the now demolished Milton Bowling Alley), and then another with popular Adelaide rock band "Testeagles" at The Waterloo Hotel. This was our first taste of playing with the big boys. And we certainly learned that night what can go wrong. I don't really remember what the circumstances were that lead to this, but we had our set cut short and were kicked off stage by the Testeagles' manager. 

That same August week, we played the Grand Final of the 2001 QLD Rock Awards, which was held at The Arena (formerly The Roxy), another of Brisbane's bigger venues mainly used for national and international touring acts. As one of the judges was from Triple M, we didn't win first prize. Our music just wasn't suitable for commercial radio. But we were so lucky to have made it all the way to the Grand Final, while so many other bands didn't make it through the heats.

From then on, it was all about continuing to promote ourselves, mingle with crowds at gigs, and build relationships with other bands and people in the music scene. One year on, we had established ourselves as a regular act at a venue under the Hilton in the Queen Street Mall called "The Basement" (aka Her Majesty's Bar). We still played almost everywhere else, but it was here where we really built our fanbase. Every time we played there, the crowd was bigger, to a point where we were pulling 300 people on a Wednesday night. The venue kept asking us back, because we were making them a lot of money. And other bands and venues were contacting us all the time too because of this. 

Headkase playing a packed show at The Basement

By 2003, we were well and truly riding a wave. Playing regular packed shows at the Basement, and being asked to play as opening act for major touring acts such as US metal giants "Skinlab", UK industrial pioneers "Killing Joke", and Australia's own "Jerk" (who had a huge commercial hit that year with their single, "I Hate People Like That"). We were finally a popular band in the underground scene.

But with popularity comes haters...


In Part 3, I'll talk a bit about the Anti-Headkase Neo-Nazi group that formed in Brisbane. 

To be continued...

Part 3 - http://geekazoidopinion.blogspot.com/2011/07/brisbane-music-scene-from-punter-to_22.html

Brisbane Music Scene: From Punter To Performer, Part 1

Dylan (Headkase) at Hi-Fi Bar, 2011

As I stood on that big stage at the Hi-Fi Bar with the band, before a sea of almost 1,200 cheering people, I finally felt like all the hard work had paid off. For that brief period of time on Friday 28th of January, 2011, it was our turn. The 'Headkase' Ten Year Anniversary performance was not just another gig. This was the ultimate "rock concert" experience that every unsigned musician dreams of. 

Brett (Headkase) at Hi-Fi Bar, 2011

And it all began 14 years ago, when I started attending local gigs. I watched as some of my favourite local bands played to increasingly larger audiences at every gig. Nobody I talked to had ever heard of these bands, but it was fascinating to see all the fans come out of the woodwork on these nights. It was like being in a secret club. While the rest of the world's population were ignorant of the existence of these bands, 500+ fans would come together, pack out a venue and party to some great original live music. I too wanted one day to be up there on the stage, in a band, performing to big crowds. 

4ZzZ 102.1 FM

I don't know what it was that lead me towards some of the more abstract, underground sounds that were coming out of Brisbane's local music scene at the time. I guess I've always enjoyed music that's a bit different. Even as a kid, I'd get a kick out of some of the weird stuff that 4zZz were playing, as opposed to all the commercial pop music everybody else liked. 

I guess part of being unpopular was enjoying unpopular music. All the cool kids liked what was "in". But what was "in" was just too bland for me. And there was (and still is) no way to avoid it. Every ad on TV, every shop, bar and passing car has it blasting. Even without listening to commercial radio, the songs still get stuck in your head. But while I couldn't avoid this over hyped, overplayed, generic, teeny-bopper rubbish, I could at least escape it occasionally by either listening to CDs, or attending live gigs.

Time Off Magazine - Brisbane Street Press

I used to read the local street press (Time Off, Rave and Scene) even before I was legally allowed to attend most gigs, so I kept pretty well informed about the scene. I was very much into acid jazz, trip hop, turntablism, trance, ambient, folk and funk at the time, and many Brisbane bands catered for these tastes. In fact, many of them combined all of those elements, which fascinated me. 

Regular bands I would go and see included: 

Soma Rasa, Zephyr Timbre, The Visitors, Hydrophonics – All live bands with real instruments, playing funky dance and hip hop that you'd normally expect to be electronic. It sounded like real music, and the stage performances were a lot of fun. 

Trinkets

Trinkets – Ambient, delicate, quiet music. Strings, keys, cleantone guitar. Really soft moments that would elevate into louder, hypnotic sections. Hard to explain. It’s the sort of music you’d listen to while reading a good book by a fireplace in a quaint old cottage. These guys were definitely an influence for the band “Marlinchen”, which I was in between 2003 and 2007.

Tulipan

Tulipan – Four girls playing exotic instruments such as hurdy-gurdy, zither and hammered dulcimer, as well as sax, violin, keyboards and plenty of drums and percussion. They all sung in harmony as well. Playing fun world music, folk and "Hungarian fusion", band members would talk about the history and origin of the instruments, which was always interesting too. 

George

George – Before they were famous, they played jazz, funk and ambient soft rock. I used to pay $10 to see them perform at The Zoo in the Valley. Sometimes, they’d perform for free in the Valley Mall rotunda during the Saturday and Sunday Markets.

Listen to a sample of "Homebrew" by George:

George - Homebrew (Sample) by RealBrettHansen

Resin Dogs

Resin Dogs – Dave Atkins’ live drumming in this hip hop/dance outfit always blew my mind. And DJ Katch was quite the turntablist. And there were always so many performers on stage, often including break dancers. This was a band who really knew how to pull massive crowds. Always a BIG, spectacular show with a big live sound. They knew how to party! Now, this is a time when Aussie hip hop was NOT played on the radio like it is now. These guys were making the crowds jump long before we were hearing Hilltop Hoods on the radio. My brothers and I ended up appearing as extras in one of their music videos: “Hardgroove 2001”.  

Listen to a sample of "Que Kumbers" by Resin Dogs:

Resin Dogs - Que Kumbers (Sample) by RealBrettHansen


 

Gota Cola

And my all time favourite, the dreamlike Gota Cola. Tylea, Lexie and Skritch always had me in a trance. I was always there, front row, centre at their gigs. I would often have a chat with Tylea afterwards. What a fanboy I was. I have both their debut EP and an autographed copy of their album, which I got them all to sign especially. Nobody else got a signed copy. It’s not like they were signing them at the merch desk. I was honoured to meet all of them. They were just such an amazing live band. It was ambient trip hop combined with indie rock. Very mesmerising stuff.  

Listen to a sample of "Red Red Moon" by Gota Cola:

Gota Cola - Red Red Moon (Sample) by RealBrettHansen

All of these influences lead me to undertake a course in DJing and turntablism at the “United DJ Mixing School”. Run by professional DJs in the business, I learnt how to scratch rhythmically (as they used to do in hip hop throughout the 1980s and early 90s, and in trip hop throughout the 90s), how to beat mix (creating beats using the drum sounds on records), and how to mix one dance (techno/house/trance) song seamlessly into another, creating the illusion of one long, drawn out track, as heard in nightclubs.

I did really well at the turntablism (scratching) element of the programme. I had an interest in this style, and have an ear for rhythm and timing in music thanks to years of classical piano.

From there, a couple of fellow animation students and I, along with a girl who was studying fine art formed “Boris”, which incorporated all of the elements of these bands I was going out to see on most weekends. There was funk, jazz, folk, trance and hip hop elements. I was on turntables and keyboard. I had originally thought that this band was going to eventually follow in the footsteps of Gota Cola, George, Resin Dogs and the others, performing for the same crowds, and perhaps even on the same bill. But things took an interesting turn. 

Listen to a few short (poorly recorded) samples of songs by Boris:

BorisMedley by RealBrettHansen

How did heavy metal get mixed up in all of this? How and why did Headkase form? And how were the large crowds achieved?

To Be Continued…

Part 2 - http://geekazoidopinion.blogspot.com/2011/07/brisbane-music-scene-from-punter-to_21.html

Elitist Nightclub a Birdee No-No

I was going through some old documents on the computer, which I'd written years ago. For as long as I've had access to software like Word (and WordPerfect before it), I've always typed up my thoughts on certain issues, events or experiences and saved them as Word documents. I don't know exactly what I'd planned to do with them. Perhaps I thought I'd compile them for a book. But what a crazy, all-over-the-place book that would be. This blog seems more appropriate for such thoughts.


One document in particular described my frustration with a certain Brisbane nightclub. Having performed at the majority of clubs and pubs in Brisbane, and visited the ones who don't host live music, there's one venue I have never set foot in. A venue that so many people speak highly of. A venue that I've been invited to on several occasions to meet people or celebrate birthdays. A venue that always has a long queue outside. A venue whose security staff have never let me enter. A venue called "Birdee Num Num".

Photo: www.brisbaneishome.com

Friday, 18 August 2006: 

There’s an elitist club in the Valley called “Birdee Num Num” who, without fail, no matter what you’re wearing, no matter what night it is, never let males in who don’t look like Calvin Klein models with perfectly styled hair and flawless faces. 

Most girls, depending on how close they compare to Paris Hilton in looks, can go in wearing next to nothing, and a pair of thongs. 

Guys who look rich, popular and good looking by model standards (face, hair, muscles, etc.) can get in wearing very casual, laid back clothes. Guys without those looks are refused entry, even if they’re wearing exactly the same outfit. You could be dressed in your absolute best, with the most expensive jeans and the smartest of shirts and shoes, and they’ll still look you up and down and say you’re not abiding by the dress code, despite the fact that the person who they let in ahead of you is wearing exactly the same as what you’re wearing. 

The dress code is very vaguely described on their website, but points out that they can’t give too much detail of it due to “legal reasons” (i.e. they’ll let you in or turn you away based on their mood and who they think is pretty enough to get in – hate crimes like that should be illegal!).

If you are having a decent hair day, and you do happen to be wearing what the bouncers consider appropriate, depending on their mood at that particular moment, they will then ask you for a student ID or a passport. That’s when they decide on the spot that the club is only for students and backpackers, which is a load of rubbish because most of the people you meet who frequent the venue are neither.

So don’t even waste your time lining up in that long queue to give those prejudiced fascists at Birdee Num Num your business. Anyone who refuses to let you pay them money for drinks because they don’t think you’re physically attractive enough, doesn’t deserve any business at all.

And anyone who brags to you about how great Birdee Num Num is from the inside, are quite often the same people who speed down the road in their car, shouting obscenities and throwing cans out the window at you, with some bland, top 40 chart trash blasting out of the stereo. The same homophobes who attack you for being gay, even if you’re not. The same morons who poke sticks at dogs and beat up women. 

Basically the staff of Birdee Num Num and the majority of the people who they accept through those exclusive doors are close-minded jerks. It’s a shame such a snobby club’s name is based on a line from the classic Peter Sellers film, “The Party” (1968), which I’m certain nobody inside has ever seen, or has any intention to see, because they’re too cool and good looking to watch some old movie nobody’s heard of. 

 

Birdie Num Num scene from "The Party" (1968)

 

Birdie Num Num / Howdy Partner 

Intercom scene from "The Party" (1968)

Bumbling Brisbane Buses, Part 2: The Drivers

 Many of Brisbane's bus drivers are crazy characters. Yes, most are grumpy, angry old sods. But occasionally, you’ll get a friendly greeting on the way in, and a wave and best wishes on the way out. Unfortunately, this is quite a rare treat for me. I usually get all the psychos.

Take for example the woman driving the 5am bus one morning who said to me, “It’s too dark to see you! You’re not making yourself noticeable enough! You’re supposed to take out your mobile phone and hail the bus with that!” After picking up a few more passengers, she stopped at a tree by the side of the road, and proceeded to pick flowers from it. She collected quite a bunch! This was not a bus stop. It was just a particular tree of flowers she took a liking to. 

The very next morning, I hailed the bus with my mobile phone to make myself noticeable in the dark. When the door of the bus opened, I copped an ear full from an extremely angry bloke wearing a cap and thick glasses. “Look!”, he shouted. “I can see you from the other end of the street! You don’t need to hail with that phone! I’m not blind, you know!” I’ve had this driver a few more times, and even once when I happened to have my phone out just to check the weather forecast, he gave me this spiel again. I wasn’t even hailing the bus with it!

Other Nazi bus drivers obsessed with trivial hailing etiquette have pointed out that:

-       I hail the bus for too long (needs to be no longer than one and a half seconds), and

-       I need to stand back and hail so that my hand stretches no further than the edge of the gutter.

I often wish there was some sort of iPhone app or text messaging service that gives a heads up on the drivers and their pet peeves for whichever bus you plan to catch. That way you can be prepared to hail with or without a mobile phone, you can time your hail, and stretch out as far as is necessary to keep the peace.

And it’s not just the early morning drivers who are scary. Another Facebook moment:

Brett: My music is drowning out the sound of an angry bus driver who has totally lost it! Screaming at kids and grumbling to himself.

Dione: Here's hoping he calms down. The evening commute is bad enough without having to call in the hostage negotiators.

A couple of the other regular bus drivers I encounter include:

A Peter Lorre lookalike

And a fine, upstanding admiral type with a neatly trimmed, old fashioned beard, who looks a bit like King George V

This particular driver likes to listen to old timey brass music from the era he looks like he's from. The following piece of music (“Waltzing In Dreamland” by  Alan Moorhouse) sounds very much like what he was listens to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyz2awlf8PA Just ignore the fact that it’s a piece of music used in “Spongebob Squarepants”. It is as close as I could find on the net to the kind of music I’m trying to describe.

Yes friends. I've been refused entry onto buses for having a keyboard in my hand. I've been yelled at for asking which bus it is because the sign at the front is blank. But that's not to say I haven't had the odd pleasant conversation with one of those rare friendly drivers. The drivers who welcome you with a smile are always the best ones. But the grumpy psychos are certainly the most memorable ones.

My next blog post will be the third and final "Bumbling Brisbane Buses" chapter, where I'll talk about some of my fellow bus passengers. Seat wetting grannies, farting chefs, Vulcans, loonies in Santa Claus suits, and more!