Thursday, 14 March 2013

Currently #1

What I’m: Reading- Listening to- Wanting- Doing

I really should read more. I read a lot of non-fiction, reference books, self help and feel good inspirational stuff. I could use as much of that as possible. It's lame, but I guess the most recent book I've read is my copy of "The Little Book of Hugs - The Complete Collection" by Kathleen Keating. Drawings by Mimi Noland. Yes, there are illustrations. So what?

Listening to: 
Umlaut - Atlas Face (featuring Mike Patton)
Fiona Apple - Dull Tool
Jon Brion - ParaNorman (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

The big blue monster puppet I designed, and then ordered in October (2012) from an American based puppet maker. I based my entire new puppet show business on this character - My scripts, my logo, business cards, uniform, and even an act for "Australia's Got Talent" which I've registered to audition for next month. The wait has completely set me back. 

I'm also wanting to finally pass my learner driver written test. I've gone for the test three times and failed. Paid twenty odd dollars for it each time. Even after extensive study and revision. My brother spent half a day with me going through the online practice tests aloud before my third try. Talking it all through and revising until I was at a point where it looked like I was bound to pass. Still failed. Very frustrating.

Working on a Plan B for my puppet business. I have a few smaller, cheaper puppets which were not designed by me, but they'll have to do. I mean, I was going to use them anyway. But the lead character was going to be my own creation. He was the one who I was going to take out to do my marketing. He's the one that would've really helped launch my business with a bang! But instead, I have to just launch it quietly and do the best I can with what I've got. I'm extremely frustrated and disappointed about the whole thing. And I don't feel comfortable charging money for second best. If I don't have this puppet by the "Australia's Got Talent" audition, I'm going to have to cancel it. Because there was a puppeteer on last year who has the exact same puppets I have, and I don't want to go in with what looks like a copycat act. That would be a waste of everyone's time. I had something unique.

Still studying to drive. I really want to start my lessons, but can't until I've passed this damn written test. My biggest regret in life was not doing this when I was 16 or 17. But I can't change the past. Only the future. And that's all I've been doing this year so far. Trying to get back up again after losing everything during the second half of last year. I had extremely high expectations for this new year, and it has been such a disappointingly slow start.

 To Conclude:
By March I had hoped to be well and truly established in my business - performing puppet shows every weekend for kids, and doing open mic comedy nights with my main puppet. 

I had also hoped to be well and truly onto about my 15th-20th driving lesson by now, after passing the written test with flying colours. But no. It's March, and I have achieved absolutely nothing. I've worked very hard to get my life back on track, but I'm still stuck in Square One. 

No, I haven't given up. But geez, it's exhausting. And everyone keeps saying, "Don't give up" and "Only you can make a difference", and "Be the change you want in life"... Yes, yes... I know all that! I'm following all of that advice! It's just not getting me anywhere. But I'm continuing to do all I can to get back on track before the middle of the year. 

I only have one crack at this business thing, because I only have a mentor as part of this NEIS program for one year. After that, payments end and I'm on my own. And I really don't want to have to go back to work in retail or as a janitor or any of the other unpleasant jobs I've had to do just to make money. This is supposed to be my chance to become my own boss and do my dream job.

I really hope things pick up so I can write a drastically different and positive post next time I update this.