Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Single? Lonely on Valentine's Day?

I'm happily married to a wonderful girl I met six years ago. (Yeah, rub it in why don't ya, Brett!) 
But it wasn't always this way. For a very long time, I was lonely and miserable too. I was always the "third wheel" as I hung out with my friends in couples. Every girl I knew was spoken for. Every new girl I met was spoken for. Every new 'single' girl I met was not at all interested.

I was the old fashioned 'nice guy'. I held doors open. I smiled. I was polite. This was considered creepy. Advice I was given? "Stop trying so hard to be all polite and romantic, and just be yourself"... This WAS myself! I knew no other way! It's how I was brought up! I should've been alive in the 1920s when this was acceptable behaviour. But in the 90s and 2000s, this was considered creepy, weird behaviour. Women gave me dirty looks and grunts of disgust ALL the time. 

And when I did find myself in a relationship, they were all very short term ones because I was always, "Too nice". That was the extent of the feedback I'd get. After I was given the initial, "It's not you, it's me" routine invented by George Costanza, I would usually find out that it was indeed me, because I was "too nice".  

Why was 'nice' a bad thing? Someone once explained it to me. These girls aren't used to being treated respectfully. It's uncomfortable for them. They need to be ignored and mistreated. They need a jerk, because that is what they're used to. It feels wrong to have a guy being kind to them. It's creepy. You've got to "treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen". Sorry, but that's not my style.

But anyway, all of that is neither here nor there now. Long story short - I found a girl who DOES like being treated nicely. 

What really gets me wondering is: Why are most of my female friends these days SINGLE? They're all very nice! They're attractive and a lot of fun to talk to! Why are all the girls alone on Valentine's Day? I don't have an answer to this question. My guess is there's a man shortage or something. All I know is, when I was single, ALL of my female friends were spoken for!

And then I think: Where were all these single girls back then when I was available? My first actual Valentine was Jen (my wonderful wife) in 2007. The first girl not to dump me before Valentine's Day (or ON Valentine's Day, as one of them did). But before I met Jen... Where were these single ladies?

Then it occurred to me: Of course! None of today's single girls were around at the time I was single. Most of my current friends were born between 1985 and 1991. So they were all still in school at the time.

Then I realised: Hey, my own wife was still in school at the time too. I met her in my ninth year out of high school! Most girls closer to my own age were in serious relationships early on during those nine years. Some were even married. 

So is there a point to this? Not sure. But I'll leave you with two pieces of advice about meeting someone. Take it from me. Someone who, for nearly a decade, could barely get or keep a girlfriend... 

1. If I can do it, you certainly can. And;
2. If there aren't plenty of fish in the sea now, there are always plenty of year 12 graduates around the corner.

Boom Boom!

Oh no he dih-ant! Cradle Snatcher!

Goodnight folks! Happy Valentine's Day! :P

2013 Edit: The joke's on me. Now we're separated. Divorce will take place in September of this year. We're still friends and all. But still... Heart breaking.

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